Dress to charm

They say clothes maketh the man and it couldn’t be truer when you are
going to meet your potential life partner for the first time. You
might think, “But these are common sense stuff, you can’t possibly go
wrong with it”, but believe me, and I’m talking through experience,
clients have come back with “I found her dressing too loud, I’m not
sure I want to be with a person like that” or “He dresses quite
sloppily, so I’m not sure...” A lot of people on the other hand want
to say: “This is me. Take it or leave it.” Unfortunately with such an
attitude you might end up living with a body pillow or just your
mirror for companion.

Face it. Physical attraction does matter and what you wear speaks
volumes about your personality, or the vibes that you are giving out
to the person sitting opposite. Besides dressing well and sharp
indicates respect, good social skills and helps you stay sharp and
focused.

First impressions are the last, so make sure your first impression is
the best by dressing right. Here are some tips.

Dressing for the occasion

Wear clothes for the occasion. If you are meeting your date in a
swanky and classy place, don’t wear t-shirts or capris. Go formal. If
you are meeting at a coffee place, make sure you don’t turn up in a
tie or a heavy kancheevram sari. Do your homework of the place and
wear clothes that match the venue. Also keep the weather in mind,
shivering in a slinky sleeveless dress in winter or sweating in a suit
in summer might indicate that you don’t judge too well.

Don’t forget the right footwear. Wear footwear that matches your
clothes, not floaters with formals or kohlapuris with a western skirt.
Also make sure you’re comfortable in your footwear, you never know if
an occasion to take a small stroll in the neighborhood park presents
itself!

A well-coordinated outfit right from hair-do, make-up, clothes,
accessories and shoes indicates that you pay attention to details and
that you take everything into account.

Dress according to your body

A potential partner might not necessarily dismiss you if you are fat or
too thin, but there is a good chance he / she might be offended if he
sees flesh pouring out of your clothes or worse still a butt crack.
Wear clothes that suit your body type.

Dress in comfortable clothing

It doesn’t help if you keep adjusting your clothes or fidgeting in
a tight pair of new squeaky shoes. If you are uncomfortable in your
dress, you will not be able to focus on the conversation. So make sure
you are comfortable in your dress, so you can focus on enjoying the
date.

Grooming
Make sure you make a visit to the parlour or the barber before your
date. Shape your eyebrows, shave clean or trim your moustache or beard
or have a haircut. Hair coming out ears or peeping from your nostrils
can be such a put off. So make sure you’ve taken care of these small
but important details.

Be careful with your make-up. Loud make-up can be a real turn off as
can be smelly underarms. Make sure your make up enhances your
personality rather than being a painted face and put the right amount
of perfume. Just because it’s your first date doesn’t mean you’ll
empty your deo or perfume bottle, (ads notwithstanding). A strong
perfume trailing your every move can be quite nauseating.

Before stepping out, check in the mirror or ask a friend how you look.

Right dressing is only the first step, follow this with good listening
skills, appropriate manners and social graces, engaging conversation
and a dash of humor.

Feel free to share more dressing tips and experiences with us.

…and they lived happily ever after

As the fairytale royal wedding gets underway after 30 years, millions are expected to watch Prince Williams and Kate Middleton exchange wows. And among them will be thousands of women wishing it was their turn to walk down the aisle and exchange wows with their prince charming.

Pause here and take a hard look. Prince Williams is marrying a commoner. And I’m sure – love apart – there must be other practical reasons for marrying each other too. Maybe for her security (and that too royal ;-)), and maybe for him someone who doesn’t come with all the royal trappings. It just goes to show that in life, unlike fairytales, things don’t come with neat pink bows all gift-wrapped.

People marry for all sorts of reasons, even as practical as “I think she will be great at juggling both career and home” and “I like the way he plays with children, he’ll make a caring father”.

Unfortunately, (and this trend is more in women than in men) women continue to wait for the perfect guy to come along and sweep them off their feet, only to realise that there is no prince charming -- handsome, with all the qualities, graces and sophistication of a true-blue prince, and the money to go with it. It’s a myth and just in fairytales.

If you continue to look at life with rose-tinted glasses, you’ll be in for some rude shocks. There are no true-blue princes or princesses for that matter. So maybe you should stop waiting for the ‘perfect guy’ and settle for the ‘good enough’ guy and make it work together.

Many women reject a man because he’s balding, he’s too short or he has an accent, but hey, he might be the next best thing to price charming, if you give him a chance! Many men might reject a girl because she’s too bold or too homely, but hey, if you give her a chance, you’ll see how perfectly she understands you.

In this world of instant-fundas, both genders want the perfect partner instantly. And it might work if you at least give that person a chance, even if he or she doesn’t score perfect tens in your criteria list! Also, couples are too quick to conclude that there was ‘no connection’ in their first meeting – an idea fed by mushy, romantic movies, again. But most of the times, you need to even ‘give time’ for that connection to happen. It’s not instant.

So my advice is, you can meet the person who is – not the perfect guy – but perfect for you, if you are willing to: a) give a person a decent chance, get to know him / her beyond looks or habits and b) go for a ‘good enough’ partner instead of waiting for eternity (or 100 years as in Sleeping Beauty) for prince charming to come on a white horse. You can give yourself a chance to live happily ever after, with patience, understanding and some empathy.

…And here’s hoping Prince William and Kate Middleton work towards living happily ever after!