Thursday, November 10, 2011

Meeting Marriage Needs

Marriage is not easy. I don’t want to put a dent on the hopes of those
trying to get hitched, but it’s better to be honest than to feel
cheated later on. But that doesn’t mean it cannot be beautiful and
harmonious. It certainly can be and there are ways to make it happen.
It’s not a smooth ride and it requires work, but it’s possible.

People marry for various reasons and over time the priorities change
too. A guy once told his friends, “I don’t need to get married,
because I know how to cook!” You might laugh at this, but if you dig
deeper you’ll find some truth in it. If you explore it further, for
him marriage means meeting basic domestic needs. And for you it might
mean some other need.

So let’s list out some needs of marriage: love, companionship,
spiritual partnership, domestic support, financial support, need to
have a family, affection and the need to feel belonged, among others.

The first thing you must do as a partner is identify your primary
needs. You must also remember that these needs will change over time,
as you change, or as circumstances change. Next, find out what your
partner’s needs are. Once you are clear about these needs, discuss
them openly and find out how you can meet and complement each other’s

Identifying your needs is not easy either, and it needs some hard work
too. Most important is self-awareness and this comes with
self-observation, patience, and complete honesty with oneself. Once
you’ve both identified your basic needs you can work together through
open and frank communication, empathy and above all a commitment to
make it work.

They say the fruits of labour are sweet. And it’s not different in marriage.

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