Monday, September 9, 2013

Freedom in your marriage -The Independence Weekend

It’s been eight years since I got married and I took my first solo trip this year. It was not to commemorate Independence day or to assert my independence, or anything like that; it just happened to fall on the Independence weekend. I did have a fantastic time (below are the pictures of my trip) and it also got me thinking about freedom in marriage.

Do we have freedom after marriage? 

Freedom to pursue our interests and passions? 
Or do compromises take it all away?

I know of a lot of people who are scared that marriage spells the end of freedom, no more late nights, no more beer parties, no more all girls’ night outs! Apart from these rather frivolous things, many even give up their dreams and passions, because they think it does not gel with their partner or fit into the new marital routine.

But have you talked about it with your partner? Have you sold the idea or pitched it rightly, as they say? You know, there’s a time, a place and a way to talk about these things…these things that are so important to you. And you must.

If you’re really passionate about something or want to live with more passion, then heed Yoda, who says, “Do or do not…there is no try”.

Often partners imagine what their spouse will say about something that’s out of the domestic or marital routine. It’s like they’ve made up their minds about how their partner will react and even put imaginary words into their mouth. “My wife! She’ll freak if she hears of this! No way, I can do it!” Or, “No, it’s not possible. I know him. He would never allow it!”

But have you really tried? Have you spelt it out? Have you told your partner how important it is to you?

I would say, stop guessing and start communicating! You will never know your partner’s true reaction unless you ask or communicate, or as I mentioned earlier pitch it in the right way and at the right time ;-).

While in reality you do have to make compromises in marriage, it need not spell the end of your dreams and passions. All you have to do is communicate. I know of a couple, both travel enthusiasts who take turns to travel, so one parent can manage their kid’s routine, unless they travel as a family!

Even as our Independence day is over, freedom can and does prevail in marriage. Only, you’ve to make the effort and find the balance to make that freedom work for both of you!

Share your freedom stories!

Pleasures and pains of solitariness

Interiors of the Tree house
Kotagiri hills
Lazy Hills , Kotagiri
Lazy Hills,Kotagiri

Gazebo-Lazy hills,Kotagiri