As the big V day approaches, I've been doing some of my own thinking
about love, or rather the process of falling in love, that initial
feeling of falling in love. In this age of speed and consumerism,
everyone wants to fall in love quickly, they want to be accepted
quickly, they want to feel the heart skip a beat, only as lovers feel
when their eyes meet, but they want quickly. They have no time, they
don't want to wait.
But falling in love takes its own sweet time. It's like wine, you
can't rush it to age, it. You have to let it be, letting the compounds
intermingle gently and modify the aromas to yield a sweet and complex
mix of flavors, all in its own stillness and time.
Whatever happened to falling in love slowly? Letting yourself sink
into it, without offering any resistance? Enjoying and savoring every
moment? After all, knowing each other doesn't happen overnight. It
takes days, nay years, revealing characteristics and nuances ever so
slowly, just like the wine that releases its heady flavors ever so
The beginning is always beautiful, because it holds promises untold.
We imagine a life together, traveling, having children, building our
nest. We tend to magnify all the great qualities of our lover, maybe
the way 'she made me feel' or 'the way he cracks me up' or the way 'he
always makes me feel so secure'. The power of love enables you to
choose and feel chosen. It makes you feel special, unique, wanted; it
makes you make someone feel special. It complements you and protects
you from feeling alone.
So I'd like to advise the lovers out there, don't be in a rush. Enjoy
the first slow decent into this madness called love, because it is
indeed a little bit fou, as the French would say. ''There is always
some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness"
said Friedrich Nietzsche, or as the Spanish poet and dramatist once
said, "Love that is not madness is not love."
It's this slow pace that will help create a deep bond and a strong
root, holding you in good stead in tougher times, times when maybe you
won't be able to even tolerate each other, because indeed such times
will come. Then, you can lean back and take sustenance from this
resilient bond that binds you, no matter what, because this bond was
created slowly, over time, in the days that you first fell in love
with each other. Slowly.
Happy Valentine's Day, folks!