Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Does marriage still matter? It does!

Till a few years back, it was the only passport into society as
someone respectable and responsible, but today, marriage is a choice
for many, society notwithstanding. Parents can’t force you, live-in is
fairly acceptable, society will not pass a harsh judgment on you,
friends will still stand by your side and relatives, barring the mean
aunt or a staunch grandparent won’t wag their tongues.

So, do you still want to get married? Is marriage still important? Or
is it out of fashion?

Well, yes. In my experience as a match-maker, I come across many young
people and even middle-aged people still wanting to get married,
despite the relative freedom that society now bestows. Strange, isn’t
it? Even as society and people are getting more and more tolerant and
accepting towards all kinds of people and relationships, marriage
continues to hold its ground. Why?

It’s not the stigma of being single, which is no longer a stigma; it’s
not ‘all my friends are married, that’s why I want to too’ or it’s not
even the fear of growing old alone. It’s more the feeling of belonging
to someone. Homeless or country-less people feel unsettled, they want
to belong to a place, a community and will go to great lengths to get
it. They want to be ‘accepted’ by someone, some place or some
community. Deep down it stems from the human nature of collective
living, of protecting each other and looking out, and after each other
and caring for each other.

Bring that same feeling to a micro level and you have the institution
of marriage. At the end of the day, you want to go back to a home; you
want to go back to someone. There is something comforting and warm
about, that nothing else can replace. Even as we are egoistic and
attach a lot of importance to ‘I’, we need the ‘We’, whatever ‘we’ it
maybe – a country, a community or a family and like you have something
that certifies that you are a citizen of a place or a community, the
institution of marriage, whether by a piece of paper or a ceremonial
‘I do’ gives you that certificate.

So, if you’re married, count your blessings, love more and criticize
less, accept your differences and lend empathy and care. Don’t forget
to tell your spouse now and then how much you love her or him. If you
are single, despite all that you hear about marriage and its
difficulties and the compromises you’ve to make, let me assure you,
marriage is still a beautiful thing.  And no, it will never go out of

Share your thoughts on the institution of marriage.