Monday, July 19, 2010

Build a marriage that helps you both grow

It’s worthwhile to introspect on your marriage from time to time and ask honest questions like, “Am I feeling suffocated in this relationship?” “Am I growing as person?” “Am I giving my spouse scope for growth?” Being frank and honest while examining these questions will go a long way in helping you assess the true worth of your relationship as well as give each of you an opportunity to set things on the right path.

A marriage that gives you no scope to grow might as well be dead. As human beings, we are not meant to ride on a treadmill like lab rats, deceived by the motion that is not actually getting us anywhere. We need to progress, we need grow, we need constantly learn, we need to thrive and feel alive. A relationship which gives you all of that is worth all its weight in gold.

Here are some ways to help your marriage grow and in turn help you both grow in positive and fruitful ways.

Show love: Once the initial lovey-dovey phase has worn out, we tend to take each other for granted and even forget to show how much we truly love and care for our partner. Make sure that you hug each other every day or call each other during the day or when you are out at work, it shows that you really care. And infuse your relationship with passion, something that we tend to neglect once we get caught up with our work and other commitments in life – a quick, romantic weekend getaway, a candle-lit dinner, a walk in the park hand-in-hand.

Cultivate a hobby together:
Don’t restrict your time together to only for watching TV shows or sitting together for a quick bite at breakfast. You might have similar or even different interests; if it is the latter, the stronger the reason to cultivate a hobby together. Through this you will discover each other in different aspects, at the same time investing your time in learning something new, fruitful and satisfying. It could be exercising, dancing, bird-watching, pottery or even reading aloud.

Respect each other:
Differences are bound to be there, there will be opinions and opinions, but as long as you respect each other and openly allow and respect that your spouse can have a view totally different, you won’t get too caught up or taken by the fights that ensue. You don’t need to be sacrificial or too territorial about your views; it’s healthy to have differing opinions, and yet at the end of it know that you love and respect your spouse.

Give each other space: Respect and give room to your spouse for his / her other activities, which could be spending time exclusively with or indulging in a hobby that you might not have interest in. It’s important that you give each other that space and time.

Be friends: There’s nothing like have a spouse who is your friend. No matter how your relationship has started, either through passion or through an arranged marriage, there is always time to develop a bond of friendship with your spouse, to be there for your partner, to support and show that you truly care, like you would for a friend.

In what ways has your marriage grown? In what ways have you grown with your marriage?

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